Day 1 of the Belt
We have a championship belt. It’s a child’s toy, and it’s been through some shit. There’s a “Pineapple Kush” sticker on the front. There’s glittery arts-and-crafts goop on the straps. The back is covered in brands inked in sharpie. But it’s a good belt, and it’s ours. Well, for now.
The belt is in GASM’s office thanks to our victory last night at Ladies’ Night, a sketch-and-standup comedy show hosted by some truly funny folks. Every month, the show contains a sketch competition where local groups compete for fame, glory, and this messed up belt. This time—our second attempt at cracking the winner’s circle—we took home the victory for our sketch “That One Alley,” written by our in-house creative director Andrew Kemp and directed by Josh Winters (aka Colonel Pork).
Flash back a few weeks to a chilly morning in Marietta, where a small army of skeezy hobo clowns were gradually getting into makeup and taking their places in a sketchy alley. One of the actresses, as it turns out, was crazy afraid of clowns and basically sat all day within her own waking nightmare. We fed her pizza, so we’re square.
Josh was disappointed to find that the alley had been cleaned since the technical scout because an absolutely perfect dead rat had gone missing. (Was it a cleaning crew or an opportunistic cat? No way of knowing, and best not to dwell.) Our amazing gaffers used reflectors and the occasional directed spotlight to cheer up some of the alley’s gloom.
We all had a blast.
This is what GASM is all about, getting up in the wee hours of the morning to film a hobo clown skidding on his knees towards an unsuspecting bystander’s crotch, because we want our viewers to get more for their clicks than a talking head or a listicle. We hope you enjoy our videos and, if not, we hope you drop us a line to let us know how we can improve. In the meantime, we’re off to cut some sick wrestling promos and decide on a custody schedule for this belt. Should be fun!
Day 2 of the Belt
Everything is on fire and we can’t find Brian or his halberd. Everything is pain. The belt is cursed. God help us all.